Today's parents are much more unsure of themselves than previous generations. They second-guess themselves, question the efforts they make on behalf of their children, and continually wonder if they should be doing more or better. When their children fall short they take it personally, believing that the only explanation for their children's performance is their failure as parents
Why do today's parents have so much anxiety over child-rearing? Here are two explanations:
1. Parents have lost sight of the goal of parenthood. They overlook the fact that children have been raised successfully by generations of parents with no uncommon knowledge. Yesterday's parents were, without giving it much thought, guided by time-honored notions of what child-rearing was all about: responsibility, respect, proper conduct, courtesy, and compliance. The efforts of these parents were informed by the notion that their job was to produce a responsible, character-filled young adult who could make his own way in the world.
Today's parents have replaced that goal with other, less suitable, goals: that their child be happy, or have high self-esteem, or that they have a good relationship with their parents. What they've overlooked is that these modern goals are not goals at all but byproducts of the traditional goal of parenthood.
By substituting modern goals for traditional ones, today's parents have overcomplicated what has historically been a relatively simple and straightforward process. This overcomplication has produced uncertainty and anxiety.
2. Parents have too much information. All of the information in magazine, books, and on the Internet has served to confuse parents rather than relieve them. It has given them too much to focus their attention on and to be concerned with.The vast amount of information directed at parents regarding child-rearing, development, and psychology has brought not clarity but confusion, not certainty but anxiety, not direction but instead confusion. And it has distracted them from the true goal of raising children.
What we will talk about on this site in months to come will be some simple, yet not simplistic, ideas and skills that will bring clarity to the task of raising your children. We will demystify the process in a manner which will bring a clear sense of purpose to your child-rearing efforts, reduce your frustration, and likely produce a responsible, compliant, and character-filled child on the path to satisfying adulthood.