An recent survey of American kids revealed some fascinating facts.
The question asked of kids was: "What do you want from your parents?" The top two answers would probably surprise most parents.
One response was that kids want their parents to spend more time with them. Not necessarily time spent in active, stimulating activities, but simply having their parents around. The mere presence of parents seems to be stabilizing for children. No surprise here, but many parents might be startled to discover that kids take some comfort from having parents involved in their lives. Not coaching their team or haggling over homework, but casual interaction.
The second thing kids said was, in essence, "Just tell us what to do." In other words, forget the long explanations or logical rationales for what you wish them to do--simply tell them.
This finding dovetails precisely with the advice I have been giving parents for decades--"Save your breath." Avoid the lecturing and sermonizing, as well as the carping, nagging, threatening, cajoling, and hectoring. Just state the expectation. This doesn't guarantee compliance, but it certainly increases its likelihood.
So, enjoy some time with your kids and say a lot less.
